We really are trying to do what those ladies tell us…
But for now DON'T BUST A MOVE!
Because communication is a tricky thing.
For this post, I’m going to focus in on the thing I have been covering over the last few posts
The Couch Time Conversation
Let me set the stage, if you are just joining in on the series.
When the days give you a lot of stress at work, or staying at home, it builds up and needs to be released. Most people do it wrong and start down a road of fights, pent up feelings, and/or downright resentment, that can cause a relationship to completely bust up over time.
Couch Time is the agreed upon place to release the day’s pressures in a SAFE space, where both partners have also agreed to be open, honest, and understanding.
The model is from John Gray’s “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” and it WORKS.
Okay, so now the stage is set, you are both sitting there, ready to let it all go…
In the format, the wife (or female partner) goes first. And there’s a good reason.
It has been found that one of the ways women release their tension is through talking it out. And it takes about 20 minutes or so.
And here’s the trick.
Gentlemen, shut the hell up. Just listen. That’s it. You don’t have to DO anything.
By talking it through, even if there are complaints, anger, tears, and general upset, she is fully capable of dealing with it herself. In fact, through this process, she actually IS fixing it.
It is a release that is very much needed.
By being silent, you are CREATING the space for her to release it in a safe supported place.
Good job, mister!Now don’t screw it up by opening that manhole of yours.
I know what you are thinking, because I have done it too.
You care very deeply for this lady, are protective of your family, and want to help in any way you can.
So what do we fellas do?
We try to FIX things… Big mistake.
By releasing all the tensions, she has just helped herself. As my wife says, “I’m a big girl, I can help myself.”
She just needs a sounding board - someone she trusts to listen, not judge, and just BE there for her.
And yes, you ladies who are reading this shouting Halleleujah, I hear ya. I have heard you for years at my presentations.
Guys, I know you want to strap on the old tool belt and get ta work, but I am telling you to STAND DOWN.
Your work is done.
That’s right, actually DO LESS and ACCOMPLISH MORE.
Believe me, she will thank you.
Just by being willing to take the time to give her the space she needs, you are way ahead of most men in the world, who have no clue of this dynamic.
It works in the dating world too, btw. (Just see my book “FoodGame” available on Amazon - http://bit.ly/FoodGameBK)
We’ll talk more about the other side of this conversation in the next post, but for now…
Juuuuuuuust listen.
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