OMG what they do is sooo triggeriiiiing!
I mean, like, don’t they know how annoying what they are doing is to me?
They are making me sooo angry!
Well, no, they probably do not know, and no, they aren’t making you angry.
They can’t make you angry. They don’t actually have that power…
Just that statement may have triggered some of you. In that case, boy, do we have some work to do.
It’s time to take ownership.
Let me ask you a quick question, WHO is in charge of you?
If you said you are, then good, we can work with that. Because you are correct.
And if you are in charge of you, who is in charge of all of your reactions?
Yup, you again.
Therefore, no one can “trigger” you into doing or feeling anything.
UNLESS, you have GIVEN them that power.*
And who wants to give their personal power over to someone else?
In close personal relationships, this is more important than ever.
These supposed triggers start fights, create deep seated emotional resentment over time, and just cause general rifts that grow deeper and deeper and harder to bridge until the relationship is destroyed.
All because the partners did not take control and responsibility over their own self.
If someone is making you mad, try this, ask yourself, whatever I am mad at right now, where in my life am I doing the same thing?
This is called “Perception is Projection” where we project our issues onto other people and when it is mirrored back to us, we respond in anger.
An easy example of this is, if you go out in the world and all day long you just see bad people being rude and inconsiderate, you might be the one who is actually being rude and inconsiderate.
So if your partner is being rude and/or inconsiderate, check inward first, before you react in a negative way, that just might be rude and/or inconsiderate.
Take ownership of your reactions, and stay calm.
Approach these feelings with a sense of curiosity rather than anger.
Many times you will find the answer lies within you and you have the capacity and capability to not only control the moment, but turn it into one of actual deep connection and understanding.
A good open conversation beats a tert response to what you THINK is a slight to you, when none was meant.
A little introspection goes a long way.
*(I am not talking in a medical sense here, just general everyday living. If medical help is needed, it should be sought.)
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