Tension is all around us, and I mean EVERYWHERE.
It’s on the news constantly, on radio, in movies, TV, and video games, from family members, and just walking down the street.
Our relationships, ideally, should be a safe zone AWAY from all this nonsense and noise.
But, sadly, it rarely is.
You can stop watching the news, TV, and movies, listening to radio, playing video games, avoid family members, and be a shut in.
But you have to DEAL with your relationships head on.
So, sometimes, like Elsa, you have to just Let It Go.
Annoying things happen in relationships. That is a fact.
I don’t mean like Elsa, in Frozen I and II, trying to kill her sister several times (that is a whole other can of reindeer poop).
Being in close proximity for long periods of time, like a frickin pandemic lockdown, can most definitely take its toll on a relationship.
It’s not usually one big fracture that rocks a relationship; it is the numerous teeny tiny little irritations that build up onto each other, that reveal themselves, in a blinding hot flash of broken dishes, screaming matches, and couch sleeping cold shoulders.
You know what kills relationships more than infidelity, abuse, and lies?...
Dishes.
Follow me here.
Dishes pile up and do not get done. Someone is going to get pissed.
They have to get done. Otherwise, they get real rank, you run out of things to eat on, and you find yourself standing there at the sink eating a cold can of baked beans in your underwear while strange tiny critters make off with a spoon half covered in day old peanut butter.
Not a pretty sight. And definitely not what you expected from your relationship, right?
So why are we here?
Well, I can go deep down the rabbit hole and talk about personalities, love languages, and value strategies, but that comes later.
This is a simple case of NOT LETTING GO.
It’s a power play. And it is killing your relationship.
“She KNOWS I hate it when she doesn’t do her dishes!”
“He never rinses his plates! Even though I told him a thousand times!”
“I’m just going to let them pile up so they SEE what they are not doing and how they are letting me down, and that’ll show them that I do so much more for this relationship and I am being taken for granted and yadda yadda yadda, etc., etc., ad nauseum, ad infinitum….”
This helps no one.
And it’s not the dishes. It’s CLARITY.
Each person has a different perspective here.
Even if you have requested they do something, if it is not CRYSTAL CLEAR and AGREED upon, there will be mistakes, innocent failings to do something, that the other party may take as a slight.
DON’T!
Is your relationship more important than a dirty glass? I bet it is.
Just suck it up, clean the damn thing, and set a time for a clarity conversation later.
Setting relationship parameters is easy enough.
Maintaining those parameters, over the long haul, takes time, habit tweaking, and ongoing adjustment.
It is a process that is worth doing without resentment and disrespect.
So, until it is all a well-oiled machine, just be like Elsa,
And Let It Go.
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