Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash
Women are super heroes. They have far more attuned senses than we men do. They can take more pain, see colors clearer, have a better sense of smell, and that whole 6th sense thing is totally true! Yes, fellas, they can smell fear. But that's a whole other subject for later.
I have been teaching successful men how to become more attractive to women, and be more successful in business, for over 13 years with Relationship Sales Dynamics™. Over that time, I found that the very same things that make a man more attractive to women, can be tweaked, very little, and will work in all areas of life. Especially in business. And the VOICE is a huge part of that success.
So, this post is designed mostly for the fellas and their voice. For women, there are a few dynamic differences, though much of this post can still apply.
The first thing a woman (or any lead, prospect, or client) notices in you is how you look. She will sum you up in about 3 to 4 seconds and know whether she is interested in you or not. So, of course, you want to look your best in order to spark that attraction.
In business, it is not quite the same level of attraction you want, but the attraction still must be there. No one wants to work with anyone they are not attracted to on a relationship level. You are going to be spending time with that person, possibly every day.
Right after the initial visual evaluation of you, the next thing she will notice will be your voice. Most men don’t think anything about how they actually sound to the world, but you have a great addition to your Business Bat Utility Belt and it’s located right behind your Adam’s Apple.
Your voice can make you more attractive. It can also hamper your efforts.
I have made a living with my voice for many years now in radio, TV, and the animation world. My voice is a tool that I have learned to fine tune. I have taught many men how to improve their dating success by understanding just how their voices can affect how they are being heard by others, mainly women.
Studies have shown that women with higher voices are more attractive to men as that signals higher estrogen and women are attracted to men with deeper voices as that signals higher testosterone. Pretty standard stuff. That’s why Barry White is officially one badass mofo.
Further studies have shown that people are drawn to those who sound like themselves, usually from the same region or community. Obviously this is not a rule, but every bit of knowledge can help you in your dating/business quest, and in many cases can turn tides in your favor.
Here are 5 ways to use your voice to make you more attractive.
Make it deeper. My natural voice is settled somewhere near the the base of my neck with a hint of nasal twinge. I know that if I open my throat up a bit so that there is more room for sound to bounce around and anchor it in my chest, I can deepen it. Play with your voice a little, move it around in your throat and chest area. Imagine pulling it away from your nasal area. After some time you will find a smoother deeper voice that you can make your own. Using a voice recorder can really help out here. And finding an actor with a deeper voice you think you can imitate can guide you to where you want to be. Maybe steer clear of Darth Vader though.
Slow it down. A frantic higher voice does not instill confidence in those listening to it. And most women do not find that appealing. Neither will your prospects. Sounding calm, cool, and collected is definitely attractive. By slowing your speech you seem more in control. And by taking your time to say exactly what you mean, there is less chance of you saying something stupid and looking like an asshat. I know this from experience.
Note here: If a prospect has a very high, somewhat frantic voice, there is merit in matching the tone and tempo. Though, unless you are skilled in voice work, you run the risk of "mimicking" their voice and possibly offending them.
Use the phone. In this world of texting and email, your message is losing its persuasive power. Why hamstring yourself by not using one of your strongest attracting assets. By using your voice, you can be subtle, humorous, cute, even sexy, and all sorts of other things just by a clever turn of phrase and well executed delivery. You can have subtext, be persuasive; many things you cannot do with the printed word. An attractive, fun voice message goes much farther than a cutesy text. And since most other guys these days, take the easy route, and do everything by text and email, you will stand above the rest of the pack and be the better man.
Clean up your act. Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. If you are, using “like,” “uh,” “ya know,” and other little stuttering and/or stammering speed bumps, you can make yourself sound, and seem, far less intelligent than you really are. And for the love of all things holy, knock off all the cursing. Dropping F bombs may be the norm these days, but it still makes you sound foolish and immature, especially in public. With all due respect to Gary Vee, watch what you say and how you say it.
Shut yer pie hole. One of the greatest skills in dating, (and in business!), is knowing when NOT to use your voice. If you are using yours, they are not getting the chance to use theirs. And they want to! Spend twice as much time listening than you do talking. Don’t feel you have to fill every silent moment, that can come off as needy and nervous. People want to be heard. So you be the man that listens. Give them the chance to express their wants, goals, needs, and desires, and you will be greatly rewarded. I promise you.
As a successful business man, you take the time to improve yourself every day in some way. So don’t neglect one of your greatest tools - your voice. Record yourself and listen to how you actually sound. It more than likely does not sound like you think it does. Have fun and play around with your speech patterns, tone, pace, levels, etc. and you may find that you can be even more persuasive, successful, attractive, and dare I say, even sexy, every time you open your mouth.
Spike Spencer
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Spike Spencer talks goofy for a living… Seriously
Spike Spencer is an internationally recognized, award winning voice actor and speaker, and the world’s #1 Master Trainer on Relationship Sales Dynamics™ - skyrocketing success in business and dating/relationships at the same time up to 300%. He is an author, certified NLP coach, and a certified B.A.N.K.™ Trainer with BANKCODE.
In the business world, Spike brings insights from over 20 years in the real estate investment world. He has flipped, wholesaled, landlorded, and managed millions of dollars worth of single family and multi family apartments. Using the Clear-Connect-Close strategies of his Relationship Sales Dynamics™ training, he helps entrepreneurs become more successful from the inside out. www.SpikeSpencer.com
Spike helps highly successful businessmen to become highly successful on their dating/relationship side. Spike has written for Neil Strauss, Men's Health, Your Tango, Singles Warehouse (as an Expert), Carlos Xuma, and more. Through his fun dating/relationships website, www.DontKillYourDate.com, Spike is helping guys become better MEN, constantly improving themselves, and communicating with women; utilizing cooking, food, travel, humor and adventure as the medium. He is the author of "FoodGame™ - A MAN's Ultimate Recipe For Dating Success."